zombie mall meme

[dsrtao]

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have -

1. one weapon.

2. one song blasting on the speakers.

3. one famous person/superhero/fictional character to fight alongside you.

What/who are they?



Two versions:

• weapon: a General Contact Unit. Technically, it won't fit in the mall (the Mall of America would fit in a medium-sized bay of a GCU) but it could displace an avatar drone and handle things from (Jovian) orbit. Or, you know, a Wu-Handrahen class espionage drone and a few knife missiles. For close-range, a CREWS assault rifle.
  
• song: Moonlight Sonata.
  
• famous comrade: Kimball Kinnison.
  

or the non-SF answers:

weapon: USAS-12 semiauuto shotgun, and lots of extra drums.

song: This Song Is Just Six Words Long.

person: The Midnighter.

Comments

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

The Midnighter

"I've already seen how this fight ends. They don't stand a chance."
"Phew. I was worried we weren't going to get out of here alive!"
"Who said anything about 'we'?"

[dsrtao]

Why do you think the song is just six words long?

The USAS-12 has a 20 round drum. After absorbing the recoil from 20 12-gauge shells, my shoulder's going to be so much zombie meat.

[dlevey.livejournal.com]

Hmm...

1) a really sharp glaive, or absent that a decent longsword. Anything to dismember the things. Of course, there's a bit of the "Oh no, I'm being chased by zombies. Better walk a little faster..."

2) Queen: The Prophet Song, or Genesis: Dance on a Volcano

3) Captain Kirk. As long as I'm not wearing a red shirt. If I am, I'll have to choose someone else.

GCU?

[metageek.livejournal.com]

The GCU is a good one, but I think it probably counts as more than one weapon. Failing that, I'd go with a large-area Displacement unit; zap them all into the Sun. (In this case, the failure rate of Displacement is not a problem. :-)

My answers

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Weapon: Helen Narbon's cellular destabilizer.

Music: The 1812 Overture.

Comrade: Green Lantern—that ring is ludicrously powerful.

Re: My answers

[dsrtao]

In loudest din or hush profound
my ears hear evil's slightest sound
let those who toll out evil's knell
beware my power, the F-Sharp Bell!

[robertdfeinman.livejournal.com]

1. Credit card
2. Pennies from Heaven
3. No need for a superhero, you can buy anything you need with the credit card

It case you haven't notices, shopping is the answer to everything...

Re: My answers

[metageek.livejournal.com]

<google>...OK, I hadn't heard of that one. :-)

Re: My answers

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

I might well go with a Green Lantern Power Ring as a preferred weapon, as it is Ludicrously Potent. Hypothetically, there'd be a minor problem from zombies who had rotted in such a way as to have yellow skin, but this is an easily surmountable problem if you have more brains than a gnat.

Which, it must be said, the average member of the Green Lantern Corps has not demonstrated that they possess. Historically, they're really unimaginative about using said weapon. Many of them are extremely stupid, and some even have brain-damage. The survival rate of their loved ones and sidekicks is no better than that of your average superhero, and I'm sure they care even less about me. And a not-insignificant percentage of them Turn Evil. At minimum, I'd be sure to specify *which* GL would be with me.

Re: My answers

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Historically, they're really unimaginative about using said weapon.

Well, yeah; they're chosen for willpower, not imagination. An imaginative GL would, in the middle of a battle, start speculating on, say, the Guardians' real motives, lose concentration, and get beaten.

(I mean, really. Are we really supposed to believe that the oldest beings in the Universe haven't figured out that giving Ultimate Power to anybody else is a bad idea? Maybe they just get their kicks from seeing lesser creatures getting beaten up. That would explain why their females left them.)

At minimum, I'd be sure to specify *which* GL would be with me.

I'm afraid I have to go with Mongor on this one:

...<checks Wikipedia>...ah. Before he Turned Evil. (Yes, I'm culturally stunted when it comes to comics. :-)

Re: My answers

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

"they're chosen for willpower, not imagination"

Also, canonically, fearlessness. Which, when you think about it, implies stupidity. Fear is often an appropriate response to the situations they find themselves in.

"I mean, really. Are we really supposed to believe that the oldest beings in the Universe haven't figured out that giving Ultimate Power to anybody else is a bad idea?"

Well, their past career highlights also include creating the Psions (evil psionic race), creating the Manhunters (evil robot race), attempting (unsuccessfully) to remove all magic from the universe. And, oh yes, creating Evil.

"I'm culturally stunted when it comes to comics."

With regard to superheroes of your youth, you're almost certainly going to be happier remaining that way.

Re: My answers

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Also, canonically, fearlessness. Which, when you think about it, implies stupidity.

Oh, yeah. "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, perhaps you have misunderstood the situation."

Well, their past career highlights also include creating the Psions (evil psionic race), creating the Manhunters (evil robot race), attempting (unsuccessfully) to remove all magic from the universe. And, oh yes, creating Evil.

That's, er, quite a résumé. I wonder if any GL knows this background when they join up—it'd certainly make me think twice about working for them. :-)

"I'm culturally stunted when it comes to comics."

With regard to superheroes of your youth, you're almost certainly going to be happier remaining that way.

Yeah, probably.

Re: My answers

[dsrtao]

The Oans are practically the canonical example of Awesome Clueless Power in DC-land. And it's not too surprising, especially when you consider that Larry Niven wrote a consolidating bible for the Green Lantern mythos.

"Maltusians were long on power and short on control."