Are you ready for kindergarten? Am I? Is Z?

Here's what the school district wants in a child entering kindergarten:

[Unknown site tag]

• Listen to stories without interrupting. That sounds like it's for the teacher's convenience. I don't listen to stories much in the office, although I do write them from time to time. Z can do this.
  
• Understand actions have both causes and effects. 37% of the voters don't know this one.
  
• Cut with scissors. I suppose. Although a knife with a straightedge guide is usually better.
  
• Follow simple directions. Z manages complex directions, when he feels like it. Creating simple directions is harder -- that's programming!
  
• Manage bathroom needs. An excellent skill. Everyone should have them. Politely excusing your self from a meeting or class, for instance... what do you mean, carry a pass?
  
• Button shirts, etc... the people on television aren't great role models, and Z's only clothes with fasteners are one button-down shirt and several polo shirts. He's so preppy...
  
• Begin to control oneself. I hear some subtext...
  
• Separate from parents without being upset. Have I ever told you the story of How I Went Home in the Middle of the Day and the Teacher Never Noticed?
  
• Speak understandably. Z can pronounce seventy-nine dinosaur species.
  
• Talk in complete sentences of five to six words. How about fifty words with proper subclauses and phrases?
  
• Identify some alphabet letters. Z is teaching himself to read silently. He identifies some non-English letters.
  
• Count to ten. E counts backwards for rocket launches. Z is trying out counting by 2s and 3s.
  
• Be ready to listen. No comment.
  
• Be responsible for putting away his toys. Well, when prompted.
  
• Establish a clear dismissal routine for your child to follow. Fish bicycle?
  
• Smile. Condescend much?
  
• ...more things for parents, not kids.
  

The question is not whether Z is ready for kindergarten. The question is whether he is ready for first grade or second.

Are you ready for kindergarten? Am I? Is Z?

Here's what the school district wants in a child entering kindergarten:

[Unknown site tag]

• Listen to stories without interrupting. That sounds like it's for the teacher's convenience. I don't listen to stories much in the office, although I do write them from time to time. Z can do this.
  
• Understand actions have both causes and effects. 37% of the voters don't know this one.
  
• Cut with scissors. I suppose. Although a knife with a straightedge guide is usually better.
  
• Follow simple directions. Z manages complex directions, when he feels like it. Creating simple directions is harder -- that's programming!
  
• Manage bathroom needs. An excellent skill. Everyone should have them. Politely excusing your self from a meeting or class, for instance... what do you mean, carry a pass?
  
• Button shirts, etc... the people on television aren't great role models, and Z's only clothes with fasteners are one button-down shirt and several polo shirts. He's so preppy...
  
• Begin to control oneself. I hear some subtext...
  
• Separate from parents without being upset. Have I ever told you the story of How I Went Home in the Middle of the Day and the Teacher Never Noticed?
  
• Speak understandably. Z can pronounce seventy-nine dinosaur species.
  
• Talk in complete sentences of five to six words. How about fifty words with proper subclauses and phrases?
  
• Identify some alphabet letters. Z is teaching himself to read silently. He identifies some non-English letters.
  
• Count to ten. E counts backwards for rocket launches. Z is trying out counting by 2s and 3s.
  
• Be ready to listen. No comment.
  
• Be responsible for putting away his toys. Well, when prompted.
  
• Establish a clear dismissal routine for your child to follow. Fish bicycle?
  
• Smile. Condescend much?
  
• ...more things for parents, not kids.
  

The question is not whether Z is ready for kindergarten. The question is whether he is ready for first grade or second.