Random Conversational Gambits Table

[dsrtao]

Is thinking too much work for you? Roll on this table each time your part in an online conversation comes up.

1. Silly Question
   
2. Pertinent Question
   
3. Insult Phrased as a Question
   
4. Irrelevant Insult
   
5. Relevant Insult
   
6. Change the Subject
   
7. Apologize
   
8. Demand an Apology
   
9. Research with Wikipedia
   
10. Research with Google
    
11. Research with Google's "I feel lucky"
    
12. Lie
    
13. Misdirection
    
14. Rephrase
    
15. Sarcastic Repetition
    
16. Contradiction
    
17. Bad Analogy
    
18. Ludicrous Analogy
    
19. Set up a Strawman
    
20. Pretend to be Confused
    
21. Recall an Anecdote
    
22. Cite a Dubious Authority
    
23. Claim Ignorance
    
24. Ask for Help
    
25. Declare that you are done with the conversation.
    

Comments

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

The President told me the wiki page on Santa Claus said he didn't like that and compared it to a fish out of wedlock. I'm sorry. I don't know the answer, but did you hear how the Bruins are doing? Which reminds me -- that time when you made an argument, and it was indefensible? This is just like that. This is *just* *like* that. I never do this. Everyone else does. You moron. Are you some sort of a moron? Can fish swim, or do they just fish instead? You should be sorry, after all, I got a thousand hits on 'ways to argue'. Can you come up with more? I don't think I understand.

(...maybe you need to put #s next to it for ease of rolling. It's hard to tell if I got 'em all.)

[dsrtao]

Numbered.

[robertdfeinman.livejournal.com]

Compare the person to Hitler or the event to Nazism?

[learnedax.livejournal.com]

Sure, I'll just whip out my d25... (You could use percentile, but I don't trust these guys to do math.)

If we just added a couple more you could finally see some use from that d30; let's say:
26. *hug*
27. FIRST POST!
28. Roll again and combine
29. Roll on the nazi table instead
30. Rickroll again

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

26 seems to stick out. The rest of them don't add anything useful to a conversation, but 26 is sometimes the right response for the right listener.