On Civil Unions

[dsrtao]

The Democratic contenders for the presidency almost all agreed that having civil unions with all the rights and benefits of marriage, but not the same name, was an appropriate solution.

Each and every one of them is a shameful coward.

Henceforth, all Americans with a skin albedo less than an amount to be determined later will have the name of their citizenship changed to "Black Citizen". After all, as long as they have the same rights and privileges, it doesn't matter what they're called.

All Americans with pronounced sinister tendencies will be re-classified as "Left-Handed Citizens".

And if your BMI is greater than 30, all your official papers will have the title "Obese Citizen" appended. You may go to a court with notarized affidavits from two physicians at least one year apart certifying a lower BMI in order to be reinstated as a "Real Citizen", but why would you want that?

And the citizenship of anyone holding an elected office will be changed to "Noble Citizen".

Comments

[ladymacgregor.livejournal.com]

I read a lovely story in The Boston Globe on the day that gay marriage was upheld (a couple of months ago?). The state reps knew the eyes of the country were on them, and really spent time with their constituents trying to Do The Right Thing - as they, or their constituents, defined it. One rep said that a grandmother-type had told him originally that she was Against Gay Marriage. But when this vote came around, she told him she had now changed her mind. "A very nice couple has moved in next to me - two men, who have married, and their son," she told him. "They mow my lawn for me. And if their marriage is declared invalid, they'll move out of the state. And who will mow my lawn for me then?" (The rep voted to uphold gay marriage.)

One of the really interesting effects of this law is that it has allowed the straight citizenry to actually meet the less-flamboyant gays. If your only exposure to gays is the Pride Parade (not that I've looked recently, but that used to be the absolute weirdest part of gay culture - maribou boas, leather, etc.), then you might be worried about gays in general. If you find out that the nice man two houses down, who is a lawyer in a big Boston law firm, dresses conservatively, works hard, keeps up his house, and even mows YOUR lawn, is gay, you begin to look at things differently. That's not nearly as frightening to the "average citizen," and it seems much more reasonable that that nice man would want to be married.

No, I'm not saying that "all gays should have to be boring to be accepted." But the out-there people, whether gay, straight, or other, have always made mainstream people nervous. It's nice for them to see that there are mainstream gay people, too, just trying to get along.