Whining losers: right wing edition.

[dsrtao]

What an astonishing whiner den Beste is. No wonder he only gets attention from women when he pays professionals.

(For people who haven't read the article, he says this himself. Thanks for the link, Jonquil.)

A brief anecdote: when I was about to be a freshman in college, my grandmother told me I should try to get a girlfriend as soon as possible. "Then you'll have someone to do your laundry for you."

I was horrified. For the next nine years, I could not bring myself to allow anyone else to touch my laundry. Even when doing laundry together with my fiancee, now wife, I had to keep all my clothes separate from hers, and do it myself, albeit on the same trip to the laundromat.

Some free advice to anyone who is of a similar mindset to den Beste: for the set of potential partners who might be interested in you, there is almost nothing you can do which is more discouraging than being desperate. If a woman takes offense at you opening a door for her, you are trying too hard (and she is not interested in you; if she were interested, she would have found a way to convey that.)

Comments

[the-nita.livejournal.com]

nothing you can do which is more discouraging than being desperate

Oh sweet gods, yes. I have spent most of the last 20 years trying to explain to various younglings (of both genders) that desperation isn't sexy. When you give off the impression that you like being with that person because they happen to be a gender you desire as opposed to being themselves, you aren't going to appeal. No one wants to be just the piece of meat.

Desperation stinks - literally.

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

Wow, you sure are right. Clearly he hasn't figured out that if he substitutes "woman who isn't sexually interested in me" for "female person," and "woman who is interested in me, even if it's my money" for "woman" his essay makes a lot more sense.

[dreda.livejournal.com]

What I took away from the article: damn, Vegas strippers are good at their jobs.

[dsrtao]

Do you think his brain would have exploded if he had stepped outside Cook County limits and visited a brothel?

[dreda.livejournal.com]

"And then she hugged me and said, so sincerely, 'Please do come back, sweetheart - you were great!'"

Duality is nice

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

He lost me immediately on the either-or between "female persons" and "women" - and his implication that there's something wrong with not wanting to be asked on a date at work.

When I am at work, on the bus, buying my groceries, or otherwise conducting most business, I want to be a female person.

In my personal time, I am most decidedly a woman.

Is this a hard concept to grasp? Really.

Re: Duality is nice

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

Having now read the rest of the article, he does finally complain at the end that you can be both - and yet while still completely missing the point.

And I would love for a guy to walk up to me and say "You seem to be intelligent, articulate, and well educated, and I would consider myself extraordinarily lucky to become romantically involved with you. My intentions are strictly honorable. May I see you again?" as a pick-up line. But then, I'm a freak.

Re: Duality is nice

[dsrtao]

See, the general problem is that it reeks of desperation. This is, I think, better:

"You seem to be intelligent, articulate, and well educated, and I would like to get to know you better. If you are similarly inclined, here's my home number [on the back of my business card]."

Re: Duality is nice

[siderea]

I'm a freak, too. I like to be asked. Three of my four boyfriends approached me by getting to know me through common social circles, then taking me aside and point blank asking if they might court me. What can I say? I find courage sexy. And it takes a lot of courage to put it out there like that, instead of beating around the bush and hinting. They had the intestinal fortitude to risk my rejection. (The fourth? I asked him. :)

[dlevey.livejournal.com]

It's amazing the lengths to which some people will go to justify not looking in the (figurative) mirror.

[dsrtao]

I hate it when people like this mention that they are looking for a GURPS group to play with -- because I like RPGs too, and I don't really want to be associated with him.

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

Yep. He's also 10 years older than he was "back when things were good." Not surprising that the women he works with aren't sending out the sexual signals to him, eh? Maybe if he'd find some women his own age, brush his teeth, that sort of thing....

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

Up to date glasses and trimming one's beard once in a while will do wonders.

Hygiene = HOTT

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

I couldn't finish the article - the sense of entitlement put me off.

What I abstracted, before bowing out, is this: he'd rather blame all women, and society itself, than look at himself firmly.

In the mean time, I'll continue to be his counter-example - single for a while (but dating tremendously) and now more than happily married to a wonderful woman/female person.

[the-nita.livejournal.com]

I couldn't finish the article - the sense of entitlement put me off.

Yup - I got to the "I couldn't shake a woman's hand with the same force as I use on a man, or I'd crush their hand" line.

*snort*

I may not have the hand strength I used to (2 years of extremely poor circulation to the arm will do that), but yah - unless y'all have a vice grip (as in the tool) then you don't really scare me, pun'kin.

[dsrtao]

"Cigareets, whuskey and wild, wild female persons -- they'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane."

[dreda.livejournal.com]

I cannot resist.

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

Why are we paying attention to this person?

[dsrtao]

It's all the fault of those wicked female persons.